News / Military
By Howard Altman / Tampa Bay Times / August 1, 2016
PHOTO: In her Brooksville home on Monday, Gold Star mother Talisa Williams holds a photo of her late son, Army Spc. Clarence Williams III, who was killed in Afghanistan in 2012. (BRENDAN FITTERER | Times)
Only a small fraction of American families have suffered the loss of a loved one to military service since the terrorist attacks of 2001.
But all of them have been drawn into a bitterly partisan political debate arising from a father’s rebuke of Donald Trump during last week’s Democratic National Convention.
It’s a place not all of these Gold Star families are comfortable being, in part because they see candidates take interest in them only when it serves their political purposes.
Others, though, say the spotlight is long overdue — that the nation’s leaders should heed the words of those whose sons and daughters have made the ultimate sacrifice.
And still others share the anger of Khizr Khan, a Muslim immigrant from Pakistan whose 27-year-old son Humayun Khan was killed in Iraq and who chastised the Republican presidential nominee for pledging to limit Muslim immigration.
“I think he’s wrong for criticizing the father,” said Talisa Williams of Brooksville, whose son, Army Spc. Clarence Williams III, was 23 when he was killed in Afghanistan.
Humayun Khan, she said, “was the one who laid down his life for Trump.”
Williams, a Hillary Clinton supporter, said she does not think Trump “is ready to be president” and believes Gold Star families — those with service members killed in action, training, illness, suicide or death by any other cause — have a right to speak out on political matters.
Of a half-dozen local Gold Star families contacted by the Tampa Bay Times most avoided taking sides between Trump and the Clinton campaign over Khan’s speech.
Elsewhere in the country, a coalition including Gold Star wives signed a letter defending the Khans without mentioning Trump, according to the Washington Post, and in a letter to Trump, the relatives of 23 fallen service members expressed their dismay at his criticism of the Khans.
Toni Gross of Oldsmar is uneasy with the continuing furor, which started with Khan’s complaint that Trump has “sacrificed nothing or no one” and Trump’s responses in interviews and social media.
“I was viciously attacked by Mr. Khan at the Democratic Convention,” Trump tweeted July 31. “Am I not allowed to respond? Hillary voted for the Iraq war, not me! “
Said Gross, “While I am thankful that the nation now knows what and who a Gold Star family is, I am deeply concerned that this image of our Gold Star families is not a positive one.”
Her son, Army Cpl. Frank Gross, was 25 when he died in Afghanistan on July 16, 2011. Since then, she has been an active advocate for Gold Star families.
“As a result of the media and both of our candidates for president and now public opinion, my thoughts are that the title ‘Family of the Fallen’ has been impacted,” she said.
Kelly Kowall of Apollo Beach said in an email to the Times she’s upset that families like hers are being used as a political football.
“It bothers me that any political party, business, press or person would try to use the death of a warrior or the grief of a Gold Star family for political or financial gain,” Kowall said.
Her son, Army Spc. Corey Kowall, was 20 when he was killed in Afghanistan in September 2009.
“It also saddens me that the reason more people now know what a Gold Star family is was due to this incident,” said Kowall, who runs My Warrior’s Place, a Ruskin-based retreat for veterans, service members, first responders and Gold Star families.
Carlos del Castillo of Tampa said he is sorry for the Khan family’s loss, but “can’t imagine involving my son’s passing in any type of a political arena.”
His son, Army 1st Lt. Dimitri del Castillo was 24 when he was killed in Afghanistan in June 2011.
“He didn’t die for a political party,” said del Castillo. “He died for our country.”
Like others, del Castillo declined to say which candidate he is supporting.
“It seems to me that both political sides are at fault here,” he said. “Using a Gold Star family for political reasons and pushing back against a Gold Star family for political reasons. It just is not done.”
Kris Hager of Parrish said there “is no effort by either party to bring Gold Star families forward unless they can be used.”
His son, Army Staff Sgt. Joshua Hager, was 30 when he was killed in February 2007 in Iraq.
Hager, who said he understands the pain experienced by the Khans, questioned why Khizr Khan struck out at Trump.
“Are the Khans mad that Trump wants to keep all Muslims out of the U.S.?” asked Hager, who says he will vote for Trump more out of displeasure with Clinton than support for Trump. “Then they are all mad at a lie.”
Kari Cowan of Clearwater says the Khans, like other Gold Star families, are well within their rights to take a political stance.
“I have nothing but respect for a Gold Star family member who chooses to fight that battle however they feel it is fitting for them as a Gold Star family and a citizen exercising their freedoms,” Cowan said.
Her husband, Aaron Cowan, was 37 when he was killed during a helicopter training flight in South Korea in February 2005.
“The Khan incident is by far the most glaring incident of disrespect I have ever seen,” Cowan said.
Without naming names, Cowan — who supports neither candidate — said the disrespect shown the family “is largely connected to ignorance.”
She also found fault with politicians who express support for the Khans while ignoring legislation that could help families like theirs.
“I see politicians who are tweeting that the Gold Star status is sacred and it is a new frontier to cross that line. I find a deep hypocrisy in that because some of those same politicians are not supporting Gold Star families where it counts the most for spouses, which is our benefits.”
While she hears reluctance among Gold Star families to talk publicly about which candidate support they support, Gross of Oldsmar said they are taking sides privately
“I’ve been getting all kinds of emails from both sides of the political spectrum,” Gross said, “all impassioned and it’s a touching subject, a difficult subject, and everyone feels differently about this.”
To Gross, though, there is one upside to the tumult.
“We are realizing the majority of Americans have no idea what a Gold Star family is. We are thankful we are getting the recognition of what and who we are.”
Gold Star family
The term Gold Star family is a modern reference that comes from the service flag.
These flags were first flown by families during World War I and included a blue star for every immediate family member serving in the armed forces of the United States, during any period of war or hostilities in which the armed forces of the United States were engaged.
If a loved one died, the blue star was replaced by a gold star. This allowed members of the community to know the price that the family had paid.
In 1936, the United States began observing Gold Star Mothers Day on the last Sunday of September. Gold Star Wives was formed before the end of World War II. The Gold Star Lapel Button was established in August 1947.
Source: U.S. Army
- Photo 2: Kelly Kowall, whose son, Army Spc. Corey Kowall, was killed in 2009 while serving in Afghanistan, questions whether families like hers should become involved in any presidential campaign. (ZACK WITTMAN | Timess)
- Photo 3: Talisa Williams, holding a photo of her late son, Army Spc. Clarence Williams III, said she believes Gold Star families have a right to speak out on political matters. (BRENDAN FITTERER | Times)
Wayback image
